The first 3 weeks of “isolation” and social distancing weren’t too bad for me. I kept my family’s daily structure in tact, enjoyed sleeping in and not having to “get ready” and drive to work. I cooked more and didn’t really mind not leaving my house. This is very odd for me. Normally, I loathe cooking and I get ansty and am always looking for something to do to get out of the house on the weekends. I surprised myself. “Am I turning into a hermit” I thought.
And then, the official news – at least 4 additional weeks at home. I realized how much I was missing my parents and I just wanted to hug my mom. I missed seeing my co-workers and friends face to face (not through a computer) and the thought of 4 long weeks at home suddenly terrified me. I felt trapped and alone – and I have 4 other people living in my house. (Side-note – to those of you who live alone and are by yourselves in your homes – God bless you – you are a stronger person than I). I had an anxiety attack at the thought of being trapped and my mind went wild.
Now, keep in mind that everday I work hard at staying calm and being at peace with the situation. I meditate, do EFT and listen to uplifing books or podcasts. My main goal each day is to stay positive, not panic and role-model good behavior for my kids so they don’t freak out. However, this threw me for a loop. After 3 days of being unsettled and scared – the weather here in Cleveland became amazingly beautiful. The sun has actually been shining and today..well today was an amazing day. Today I went out in the morning to my front garden beds, which were overgrown when we bought the house in October, and I had a mission. I spent 4 glorious hours outside weeding to my hearts content.
The sounds of the birds chirping, the wind blowing gently, my kids playing in the yard. All of a sudden I realized – I FELT NORMAL!! Corona-what? I felt normal. And it hit me – I realized that this too will pass and the lessons learned will be carried forward. We will be able to hug each other and have gatherings again. The kids will be able to see their friends and life will carry on. I felt at peace and I looked up at the great big beautiful blue sky, felt the sunshine on my face and said – thank you. Thank you for this amazing life. At that moment I felt truly blessed.
My anxiety and fear have abated and I am once again hopeful and at peace. I urge all of you who are struggling to look out. Look beyond our immediate circumstances and see the bigger picture and know that all will be well. ALL WILL BE WELL. Beleive it. Feel it in your bones. Know it in your soul.
Stay safe. Stay healthy. And remember to always be who YOU are – because you are amazing.
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